A recent Facebook post on a massage therapist group asked the question
“You know you’re a massage therapist when…..”
Now probably the majority of the answers are in-jokes for massage therapists but still…some of them are quite funny.
You know you’re a massage therapist when…
You automatically wash your hands up to elbows
You come home and shower the people germs off
You don’t think that rubbing oil into naked strangers bodies is at all weird
You notice complete strangers’ posture and gait and think up treatment plans in your head
You recognize severe kyphotic posture as an issue while other “Bros” in the gym are complimenting the man on a “big back”
Your life is dominated by unending piles of laundry
You get the question “does your hands not hurt?” 99937478 times a week.
You go three days not working and your cuticles start to crack’
You have multiple nail clippers and files, and spend a good amount each day getting your fingernails and cuticles just right
You think Syria kind of looks a scapula (see picture)
You become completely obsessed about your hands and any potential bump, cut, bruise or scratches!!!
The week you are on vacation and the middle of the week you clip your nails out of habit2
You’ve got nail clippers at home, in your purse and in your car.
You are out to eat and you notice the waitresses posture and how they walk and think… i can fix that.
You tell your friends you can’t go ice skating, skiing, roller skating, etc…you can’t hurt your wrists/arms!!
Someone shakes your hand a little too hard and you say Hey!! That’s my money maker
You go in for a casual hug and end up palpating their back 😬
You see someone walking down the street in a bit of a struggle & think “man, that person really needs a massage.”
You consider larger purchases in terms of how many massages that might cost you.
You can’t open pistachios…
You look oddly at the crazy anterior tilted hips of the person in front of you at the grocery store. “Damn, her back has got to be killing her, I bet her left hip/back is always on fire with the angle of those hips.”
You can’t tell anyone about your profession without them replying with “Wow I could really use a massage…” (or they start making happy ending jokes 😡)
Your husband asks you to open the pickle jar.
Your kids get a massage when you apply sunblock
What used to be a quick Hug, now has become mini massage secession
Everyone says you smell good when you walk into a room.
All the music on your phone is massage appropriate…
You’re going on vacation and you plan your nail growth so you won’t scratch your last day clients but you’ll actually have longer nails for a manicure before you go or while you’re there.
When flatulence during session is not a thing
You recognise people from behind better than from in front.
When you’re told you have the softest hands🤣
You get excited you can paint your fingernails for vacation!
You hug your kid and they say, “Mom. You’re palpating my back again.”
You give massages but never get one
Every time you see “message”, you triple check it doesn’t say massage.
Please do not hesitate to contact Richard if you have any questions to any information presented on this blog. Any information, advice, recommendations, statements or otherwise contained herein, or in any other communication made by or attributed to Richard Lane, whether oral or in writing, is not intended to replace or to be a substitute for medical advice trained by a trained physician or healthcare practitioner.